After living my whole life in Pennsylvania I have been trapped into a move to a place I never expected to be. Not just the desert but of all places Las Vegas. A place where the visitors seem to outnumber the residents. A place where tan is more prevalent than green and you have to watch out for scorpions instead of squirrels. It has been a wild ride to say the least. A dry heat is nice... if it isn't 105+ degrees daily, but so far it has been. I never thought it could be 99 degrees outside at midnight but it is possible, so much for it cooling off at night. I have come to the conclusion after now dealing with dry heat and humid that if it was 105 and humid you would turn into a raisin within a few hours and probably die.
Even more disturbing is the stuff that you over hear in a place like Vegas. I got used to hearing weird things while I was in college and even just outside of where I lived but nothing like the conversations I have overheard here. In one hour out at dinner I heard one family talk about so many different things my head felt like it may explode. Not only were the conversations plentiful but they were some of the most bizarre and varied I have ever heard. While they were pretty insane conversations in my head I could not help but rebut some of their statements to myself. They started off talking about how "Cannibals would not make your body into a canoe" and while I wish we were in agreement with that I figure that if the cannibals had already eaten one of them they may conserve their materials and very well use them as canoes. Next they moved onto "how similar can they be there was no incest" to which I thought ... I had no idea that is the only way to pass on similar interests explains why my family is so different, we are just not incest enough to have anything in common. (phew!) Finally they moved onto "I just wanna see someone go Hey how ya doin'? then out of nowhere a seaweed kelp whip comes out of nowhere like BAM!" to which I say... WTF are you even talking about now. This can not be an honest straight faced conversation going on can it? Alas some how it was. The next day I was approached by a woman at 8AM who started by asking if my mom and I were friends. To which my preferred response would have been no I am just hanging out next to this ATM to steal her card information, but being 8 in the morning only a gurgle and a head shake of no came out. She then jumped to "Sister do you believe in god the man who made us?" To which no words came out at all more of just a look of it is too damn early for this. I have come to the conclusion that not only do I have one of those trusting faces to which strangers like to talk to but that in Vegas it is going to be a lot weirder than ever before... so begins the adventure.
