Pumpkins in the Desert

    No posts for a bit because I spent a few glorious weeks back in PA soaking in the chilly fall air and smelling the trees and rain. Back to the sad desert reality and Halloween is upon us. The neighbor hood that we live in is only slightly festive and that is being rather giving. About 10 houses seem to have some decorations, I will say that the "yards" here are not large and more often than not they are just gravel and not grass. When you get a house here it is grass not included you have to add that yourself like Christmas present batteries. So its nice to see people jamming any form of decoration in the space that they have.

     Not wanting to be the party poopers in the middle of the street since we genuinely do like Halloween we went and got some decorations and covered the whole front gravel yard under one large spider web. So far it seems to be a fantastic net for the next door kids to throw their sport balls into. Trying to pluck a nerf football that has lost all of its paint and is a crumbling mass of foam out of a spider web is about as easy as removing an appendix.

     Finding a pumpkin patch seemed like a fun thing. There is one 5 minutes from where I lived in PA and it was always one of my favorite things to do go and pick my own. In Nevada it seems it is the only thing to do on weekends by the pure mass amounts of people there. I was shocked there was one so close to us but when we got there it looked more like a carnival just people and cars. After fighting our way down to the pumpkin patch at the end of the farm it seemed people were genuinely intrigued by farms... and pumpkins. Every time someone chose a pumpkin it was immortalized by about 15 phone and ipad pictures of them holding it. While I am like ... these pumpkins are rather small what are you so excited about!? But we persevered  and found one larger one and a few smaller ones. Sand seems to be inadequate for growing full sized pumpkins in though I did see the occasional out of place pine cone that I was tempted to take home and stick to the trees to feel more at home. Now this weird experience would have been fine if it wasn't over 70 degrees under the sun of high noon, which is a great deal different than 70+ normally feels, and the line to pay was about an hour long. To which me and my father stood in listening to the lesbian quarrel of a lifetime, and occasional speak of doughnuts. (I have nothing against lesbians AT ALL but I don't think the place to air any relationship problems is cursing it out amidst an ocean of children.) When we finally got up to the front I had a sun burnt face and was about to pass out from dehydration. Needless to say it was a fun idea that turned into a right pain in the ass. As I went to set up to carve the pumpkins I was told THEY WILL DIE IF YOU DO THAT. First off... they are already dying. Secondly it is actually too hot here to carve a pumpkin for it to last any more than maybe three days. One more check mark against this desert hell. If I cant carve a pumpkin when it is purchased normally a week or two before Halloween I don't want to live there.

     It was also rather disturbing to look up and see all in one shot: farm, palm trees, desert, city, then brown mountains. Sometimes I just look around and feel like I have been thrown into the twilight zone. I have decided that where ever it is that I move to there are requirements. Some of which will be listed below.

1) There needs to be a real fall with trees that change color not just this weird tornado of dusty wind.
2) Pumpkins should be able to be carved at least a week to 2 in advance of Halloween so they can be enjoyed.
3) There must be lots of green.
4) Hoodies must be a staple of clothing.
5) The place must not be an absolute vacuum of  intelligence.
6) It also can not be the home of an insane amount of gambling and drinking addiction. (I understand there are addicts everywhere but here it is like the state is like yeah.. its okay to have that! come hang out with us! Here's a free drink for that gambling your doing!)