FINALLY PROGRESS!

For those of you who know me it is no shock that I have trouble keeping things consistently tidy. For those who don't my name is Jess and I have a problem. While I typically know where stuff is that doesn't mean it is put away nicely it may just mean I can tell you the exact spot on the floor in which it resides even if it is under a mountain of clothes. So it is a small wonder that it only took this long after moving to get my room pretty much set up. Since people wanted to know what my apartment looks like and I had a day with nothing better to do I cleaned. While I like things nice and tidy (unlike when I was younger and relished mess) I tend to clean one room move to the next and by the time I have come full circle the first room is a disaster again. I am working on it but as you read this my kitchen is already a mess...what can I say, progress is slow and I was not meant to be Susie homemaker. Alas at least I can cook I guess lol!

I had posted this to show that the end door was my room. Also I guess I should say that is not some alice in wonderland illusion the ceiling is 9' tall so  some of my doors are at least 8' They make me feel even shorter than I am and are hard to decorate but it is hard to decorate most things in here without a ladder.

So my room kida has a tiny hallway because that door on the left (with the blue and white checked flag over it) has a cubby where there is a washer and dryer

that's right I live in the UN! I decided during my travels that I wanted to collect flags and believe it or not I am missing one or two but I do have an extra that someone got me thinking I just collected any flag for fun..and they are not all in this picture either.

That large door covered in curtains leads to the patio and pool.

My room was such a mess when I posted the original pictures of this wall I figured this time i would give some context. 

Believe it or not I am not actually done decorating either I just need some hooks so I can hang some heavier stuff up. Like I said before I am not a fan of blank walls but some of my pieces are heavier than others.

The Hatching!

So once again I am on a decorating spree. This time its an egg party! I already posted my kitchen table and my dead bat but now the rest is complete! After gathering every egg I could find I spent at least a full day stringing them up and coating the apartment in colorful egg glory! I also did a small day project of sewing since I am slowly trying to learn in hopes of learning to do some quilting some time soon. Anyone who knows me will tell you I am shit at containing my excitement when I have a project in mind. So when it comes to sewing I am not the greatest. I just want the project done so I can use whatever it is I am making or send it out as a gift. Slowly learning a skill is tedious in the extreme for me. But I have a love for blankets and all things cuddly so I refuse to make sub par blankets or quilts! Lastly I am working on an actual quilt, I guess I should say blanket or over-sized afghan. One of my best friends got engaged and since I don't have a lot of money I thought I could make her something and then get her something smaller from her registry when she has one. For now all I can hope is that she doesn't read my blog if so PRETEND YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS! THIS IS NOT THE BLOG YOU ARE LOOKING FORRRRR... First for the HATCHING!

EGGS EVERYWHERE! 

Owl cookie jar is all jazzed up for st. Patrick's day as well!

I also took some pictures of some more of the apartment that I don't think I have posted yet so it doesn't look like I just live in a kitchen living room combo! lol.

Plus more eggs... naturally.. The door to the left is my bathroom and the one straight ahead is the bedroom. Directly to the left of the fridge is an entry way and a door to the outside that leads to the garage as well. (I will take a picture of that when it is not filled with stuff that needs to be donated.)

That's right its laundry day! But I am human and embrace the fact that my apartment is never fully clean so you will just have to deal with some clothes... 

Egg bundles! Yup even the bathroom is hatching!

I think the egg bundles look like balloons but they are festive! I also re purposed some little Christmas tinsel trees as Easter trees!

Also the lorax hiding away in the ficus protecting the trees!

Now on to stuff I made! you can see them in this picture but I took some close up so it is easier to make out what they are. So the first bunny bag i made I was a doofus and sewed it up first and then had to put on the eyes and face with only that little opening between the ears to work with. Like I said when I get excited I want the stuff done yesterday but I figured it out and slowed down as much as i could... Which isn't much but its the best I got for now.

So this is my small sewing project they are little bunnies that you fill with some candy for easter and tie under the ears. 

Lady bunny!

This is for a little boy who likes superman.. but unfortunately I didn't have the right colors so he is getting hulk bunny instead. I also didn't have enough purple for one straight go so now it looks like he is wearing shorts.. which is accurate but not what I was aiming for. YAY for his angry eyebrows though!

So here they are filled and tied up.

the rest of them.

Here are two in some little baskets that will be filled with baked goods. One of the ladies getting these donated her unused Easter eggs to the hatching! and is always super helpful so of course she gets a nice treat!

Next I had gotten a basket for the now engaged friend years ago and never got to give it to her. Yeras later going through moving crap I found it and it still looked terrifying as the day I got it... So naturally I did some modifications to make it more her.. and less creepy...

before... seriously he was creepy...

But now he's a beautiful LADY! WOOWOO! so much better!

all put together with some goodies!

This is the blanket I am making her for her wedding present. (sorry about the phone picture but its all I have for now.)

My basket with a saucy eyeliner wearing bunny perched in its grassy bed.

Lastly last night I got to go to a Bob Seger concert and got possibly one of the best tour shirts I have ever seen. My mom was convinced it was a motorcycle but when the guy took it down and showed me I was sold... its not a motorcycle. It is so much better! The guy looked totally freaked out that this was the one I wanted but who can say no to saucy big haired ladies riding a bullet.. Not me! I don't think anyone else had gotten one and if they had it was probably a man. My favorite of my tour shirts by far now! Look at that hair!

You do you ladies... you do you! I totally feel your hair frustrations!

I hope everyone else is keeping warm in the cold since most the people I know are trapped in the snow globe that is the east coast! Warm dusty desert hugs to all of you!

Got a Cookie Jar...Still Not an Adult...

Well obviously I went out with some Christmas money and got a cookie jar so lets get that out of the way. Here he is in all of his (actually more blue than this) glory. I feel a bit bad every time I take his head off to get something out but that's his job and he takes it seriously! I think I shall call him Carl the cookie owl.

Next on the list is some strange pictures of what has become my post card wall. If you are around me in a room for more than a few minutes you will learn that empty walls bother me to no end, I also have a post card collection so naturally I fused the two. I have gotten more but I have yet to add them but if you send me a post card this is where it goes to live.

This is the actual width of the wall it is a bit weird but what can you do. Also at the bottom is my giraffe/ zebra hybrid he's just awesome. 

My weird decorating doesn't end there because of the 3 upcoming holidays, none of which I am huge on I have decided to combine them. That's right I am in the middle of decorating for valpatricster. Here is a sneak peak of my insanity seeping out into the apartment. 

The start of my tiny table

Eggs Tiny Baby Eggs!

I am pretty sure one of my Ex's moms gave me this frog because she didn't like/ know me... well suck it because i can totally make that shit work!

To answer what must be your first question about this Yes I do have penis salt and pepper shakers. Also yes one says lovely and the other says Amsterdam, because why the hell not people. Y'all need to calm down and just have some fun they go with everything including but not limited to my Valpatricster decorations. You know you like it this will be a trend soon just like my owls. 

Lastly I am sure you are all just full of curiosity and possibly even filled with dreadful worry over the after life of dead bat in a cup. Firstly he is doing fine... thriving even in his afterlife. Since Christmas he has really gotten into the idea of Valpatricster and has really done up his abode. He is currently working on a tiny beer stein but for now here is a peep into his home life. He is clearly living it up. My dad still shakes his head and laughs but I think he is just sad that he didn't keep the bat himself to have weird fun times with. He sometimes lacks the whimsical vision that me and dead bat in a cup clearly have all the time. 

Conclusion I am never gonna be a normal adult... I refuse to give in to normalcy. Me and Dead bat in a cup are just gonna live it up over here on team weird and whimsical. Hope you all have a nice and super weird day! 

BELATED CHRISTMAS SURPRISES!

Surprise! Mid January I got 4 packages! My Aunt sent me an amazon gift card for Christmas so I got some stuff had some minor problems but patched it up super quick so that was a bonus! I always like to show people what they ended up getting me with gift cards, not sure why I just feel I should. So Thanks a millions Aunt Sasa!

I love to read and while I have a kindle I also have a soft spot for actual books so I order used ones from amazon for pretty darn cheap and as long as you get ones labeled good or very good they just have some spine creases, which is fine because I am used to sharing books and this is no different to me. Harry Potter is what got me into reading to begin with, I was an ATROCIOUS reader as a kid and it never came easy. In the end I sat down with the first one and a lot of panic and read it for days until it was done. By the time I got to the last one I read it in a few hours and handed it back to the person who lent it to me. In the time since I have only gotten faster If I have nothing to do in a day I will easily go through a book or two. But I never owned a set of the books so now I am working on it! Also yes I got a water bottle it is hot as hades here in the summer and I had one of these bottles in college and never forgot to take it since it was so RED so I replaced my old one that got lost in a move :( THANKS AGAIN!!

Next was a surprise box from my cousin Jeremy and his wife Sarah who are still stationed in Germany. I was not expecting this but I was super excited because Christmas in Germany means Gluwein mugs! I had asked if they saw a nice one if they wouldn't mind sending it boy did I get a surprise when 6 showed up! Including one that was engraved for me, something I had never seen when there! I love them all!!!

YESSSSSS

SO PRETTY!

Thanks to all of you I love all my presents whether you picked them or not! lol <3

Post Christmas Holiday Slump

Let me just say that I am not the only Christmas fan in my house.... This is a typical Christmas morning for our family of three. Fully decked out tree Santa and Mrs. Claus presents galore and 24 hours of A Christmas Story and leg lamp mania...

Now that that is out of the way it was an entertaining Christmas. Just like other families we have traditions and if they are not followed I just imagine Christmas would break. Even when we lived in Germany we were able to do our normal drill including the fact that we were able to find a 24 hour channel on tv of A Christmas Story (thanks to British cable!) We always have a big breakfast and then go into a present bonanza, while Ralphie deals with bullies little orphan Annie and Red Ryder BB guns. While some holidays pass without much of a thought my parents have always tried to make Christmas magical. This year was clearly no different. I also jumped in a bit this year to try to add some whimsy. Dad asked for car parts but we also got him a full rolling pop corn machine cart along with fixings and bags/boxes. For mom I finished a piece of art and found and had printed my dads graduation photos that according to him "did not exist" (she has both mine and hers on display together and was desperate to finish the set). She was ecstatic so that was nice! As for me I got plenty of nerdy gifts that I love!

So much entertainment. 

4 fancy spatulas and tiny cake pans they use the word "cakelette pan" but I think it sounds stupid so tiny cake pans...

A calligraphy set and a fancy seal with seal wax

yisss books! also my kindle broke a few weeks before Christmas and I was blown away to find a new one waiting for me (I read hours each day so I was already missing it a lot!)

I always have stuff that doesnt fit into a category... so some ornaments a reindeer that holds hot cocoa some purple tights and My aunt Sasa sent me some hand made flip flop socks and a beautiful necklace :) 

Also Each year I get an ornament or a few and this year I got the most un amused drag queen owl that has ever existed and I am in love with it ... it may stay out all year... I cant think of putting him away it seems wrong.

I also got owl pajamas and some fantastic shoes but they need to be returned for another size so pictures to come later! I like to think of myself as a diversified nerd! Reading, Tv wise, baking, if I can get my hands on it to try I most likely will. Up next to learn is clearly calligraphy and sealing up letters like I live in the past. Gotta keep life interesting! We also had a big Christmas dinner here with our old neighbors (we basically re did Thanksgiving mmmm) It was nice though our neighbors mom hasn't decorated much since her husband died right before Christmas years ago so our house was quite magical to her she couldn't stop looking around for more Christmas stuff. It was nice to see her so happy on a day that is normally really sad for her. I hope you all had a magnificent holiday with great food and family and cross dressing owls because clearly they are the best, no need to argue just look at his magnificent face.